I Get Jealous of My Twin Brother and My Best Friend is the seventy-seventh chapter of Zak Saturday's Immortal Love Life. It was first published on March 17, 2016.
I hate Sex-Ed class. It’s just embarrassing and disgusting. Zack and Selena agree.
Our parents put us in this class since we’re now at that age. My mom actually didn’t want me and Zack to be in this class at all, but Dad put us in it without her consent. She didn’t like that, but Dad back fired to her that she has us do things without his consent on it. Mom couldn’t deny that. She wanted to, but she knew she couldn’t.
After that, she told me that that’s why she sometimes wishes parentage was a one-person job. It is in some cases, which she’s had with Madison and Kiara, since Nick had died, but she told me that it wouldn’t have been different if he was alive then because he knew how my mom was long before they became a couple. He pretty much let her do whatever she wanted. But, unfortunately for my mom now, not in this case with us. That’s why I can tell that my mom likes Nick more than my dad.
Anyway, in the class, the teacher was saying a lot of crap and the students would respond to some of the things that she said.
Zack, Selena, and I were sitting in the far back, trying to pretend we weren’t there. I was listening to some music on my phone with one ear, which I don’t usually do, and listening to the teacher with the other.
“Class,” she said. “By a show of hands, how many of you have had sex before?”
Everyone in the room raised their hands, except me.
I wasn’t afraid to admit that I was still a virgin. I take it with dignity and honor. I know that I was raped last year, which I still dwell about sometimes, but that doesn’t exactly count.
I rolled my eyes, slumped back into my chair, and began listening to another song, until I noticed that everyone raised their hands, including Zack and Selena.
I stared at them.
They were trying to avoid my gaze, but it didn’t work. They looked kind of ashamed about it, or was that my imagination? They probably didn’t like that I just found out about it. They could’ve avoided it if they just kept their hands down. But I guess I had to find out sooner or later.
“We’ll talk later,” Selena whispered to me.
“You’re damn right we will,” I whispered back.
After Sex-Ed finished, I dragged Zack and Selena all the way to the park.
“You two have had sex before?” I asked them.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why should we have?” Zack asked.
“I—I don’t know. Maybe because I’m your sister and you’re my best friend.”
“Sarah, best friends don’t have to tell each other everything,” Selena said. “And this is personal.”
“Ok. But I’m not sure which question I should ask next: When did you two have sex, or how many times?”
They glanced at each other.
“I suggest ‘When?’” Zack said.
“Since you suggest that, I’m going to ask how many times,” I said.
They both sighed.
“Umm, estimated, ten times,” Selena said.
“Ten times?” I asked. “How often?”
“Once a week. Sometimes twice.”
“Like our parents.”
“Sarah, we’re in love, and that makes our love stronger. You and Zak haven’t been intimate yet?”
I shook my head. “No.”
I turned away from them with a pained look on my face.
“Oh,” Selena said. “Zack, do you mind leaving Sarah and me alone for a moment?”
“Of course not,” he replied. “I’ll be at home.”
He gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked off.
I sat at one of the swings and Selena sat at the one next to me.
“Sarah, why haven’t you and Zak been intimate?” she asked.
“I think you know why,” I replied.
“No, I don’t.”
I sighed. “I’m afraid to.”
“Oh. I understand that the first time is hard, but—”
“That’s not why I’m afraid.”
“Because I was raped, Selena. When someone’s first sexual experience is a rape, it’s hard to be in any after that. Even if it’s consensual. And Zack was too. How was he able to be intimate with you after what he’s been through?”
“It wasn’t easy, but he was able to push that aside and just focus on me and him. But I understood it if he couldn’t. Has Zak tried to get you to do that?”
“No. He wouldn’t do that. At least, not on purpose.”
“What do you mean?”
“For the past year, ever since we got back together, whenever we would make out, he would lift my shirt up a little bit, but he would catch himself quickly and put it back down, so it’s really just an automatic thing he’s been doing.”
“Didn’t he almost have sex with Amber?” Selena asked.
“Yeah. Thank you for reminding me of that,” I said sarcastically.
“Sorry. But maybe he wants to do that with you, but is afraid of what you’ll do and/or say.”
“You really think so?”
“Yes. What would you do and/or say to him if he wanted to do that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Would you do it?”
“I don’t know. Ask me again when I’m actually in that situation. But, uh, out of curiosity, what did it feel like?”
Selena couldn’t contain her smile. “It felt amazing, Sarah. But I’m surprised that you’re asking me that since it was with your brother.”
“Yeah. I was trying to forget that part. But did it really feel that good?”
“Too good to describe.”
“Right.” I stood up from my swing.
“Where are you doing?” Selena asked.
“To see Zak,” I replied. “I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Ok. See ya.”
I teleported to the Saturday’s home.
Zak and I hung out for a while with his cryptids, then we went to his room to relax and have our own special alone time together.
“Is your star getting smaller?” I asked, noticing it.
“My what?” Zak asked.
“Your star. That white part of your hair. It looks like a floppy star, and it looks like it’s getting smaller.”
“Oh. Yeah, it is. I think my hair’s going to be all black. No more white.”
“Ah. And it use to make you look so cute.”
“Cuter than you?”
“I doubt that anything is cuter than you.”
“Yes. Or more beautiful.”
We kissed. Then we soul kissed. Passionately. After a little while of kissing, Zak started lifting my shirt up and, again, he stopped just below my breasts and pulled it back down.
I stopped him. “Zak, why do you keep doing that?”
“Doing what?” he replied with another question.
“Lift my shirt up and put it back down.”
“Oh. That. I don’t know why I do that. It just became a habit, I guess.”
“For the past year?”
“Well, how about this time, you lift it up all the way?”
He stared at me, confused. “What? Why?”
“Zak, I think you lift my shirt because you want us to be intimate with each other.”
“It’s ok. I want us to be too.”
His eyes narrowed. “You do? Why? I mean, after the last time you were—”
“I know. But I know you won’t hurt me.”
“I won’t. But why do you want to do it now?”
“Well, earlier, I found out that Zack and Selena have done it before, a lot, and you and I haven’t even done it once yet.”
Zak sat up on the bed with a stern look on his face. “So, you just want us to do it because they’ve done it?”
“Uh, kind of,” I replied. “You look mad.”
“That’s because I am.”
“Why? Sarah, I don’t think—” He sighed. “No. I don’t want us to have sex.”
“Because you only want to do it because you’re jealous of your brother and Selena.”
“No I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. And I don’t think that that’s what it’s about.”
“I think you’re just saying that because you don’t want to do it.”
“No. That’s just how I feel. I’m sorry, Sarah.”
He stood up from the bed and walked out of the room, leaving me on the bed, alone and confused by what just happened.
I took that as a sign that I should go home, and I did.
“Mom!” I called.
“I’m in here, Sarah,” she called back.
I found her in her room, sitting at her desk on her laptop. Nick was with her (no surprise), as well as Pikachu, Amber, Shillow, Kimbia, and Spike.
She put down her laptop and faced me. “What’s up?”
“Uh, can we talk alone?” I asked.
She looked at Nick and the animals, silently telling them to leave.
“Let me know when you’re done talking with her,” he said.
He stood up, gave Mom a kiss on the cheek, and left the room.
“Alright, Sarah,” Mom said. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Umm, did you know that Zack and Selena were having sex?” I asked.
“Umm, yeah, I do.”
“I just found out today. When or how did you find out?”
“You don’t wanna know.”
“Let me guess: you caught them doing it?”
“No. Thank God. I actually found an empty box of condoms in Zack’s room the other day, which I didn't like. We talked about it, but not for long. Why? Have you and Zak—”
“No. But if we have, I want to hear your opinion on it first.”
“Well, a lot of parents would tell their kids to wait until they’re married, but, even though they’re right, most of them are hypocrites for saying that because they didn’t themselves. Unless they wish they did, then that's not hypocritical. I would be to if I told you to do that. I was raised like that, and I did try to be celibate, but I allowed myself to get too caught in the moment. But I did eventually marry him, so it was kind of ok, but not really.”
“Do you mean Nick?”
Mom nodded. “Yes. I was very careful with the men I had sex with. To be honest, I’ve only had sex with five men in my whole life. Most women my age would of had sex with a lot of guys, but not me. The first two men I did eventually marry. Unfortunately, the other three, not at all.”
“The other three,” I repeated. “Was the second man Dad?”
“Yeah,” Mom replied.
“Wait. Are you saying that you—”
“You had an affair three times?”
Mom looked ashamed, which she should be. “Well, I only had sex with each of them once. But, yeah.”
“Who were they? Do I know them?”
“Yes, you do.”
“Who are they?”
“The first one was your dad’s boss. I didn’t want to, but he kind of forced me by saying he’d fire your dad if I didn’t, and your dad loves being a lawyer, but I still shouldn’t have done it.”
“Is that why you always call him a bastard every time he’s mentioned?”
“Yes. Because he is one.”
“What about the other two?”
“They were Zak’s uncle and your uncle.”
“Doyle and Uncle Rick?”
“How and when the hell did those happen?” I asked.
“I’m not going to tell you how, but with Doyle, it was during that first summer we met him and the Saturdays, when we were working on fixing that naga relic. And with your uncle, it was on the night of mine and your father’s wedding anniversary after that summer.”
“On your anniversary?”
“Yes. But your father had also gotten drunk and slept with someone that night as well.”
“Did you tell him about those few times you—”
“Yes, I did.”
Is she lying? I asked my powers.
No, they replied.
“Why did you tell him?” I asked Mom.
“Because I knew I had to,” she replied. “And I didn’t want to keep that from him.”
“How was he about it?”
“A little hurt, but he knew that he kind of deserved it. Except for that one time with his bastard boss.”
I smirked at that.
“Anyway, is that the only thing you want to talk about was Zack and Selena?” Mom asked.
“Actually, no,” I replied.
“Before I tell you, what would you tell me about when I should have sex?”
“Well, I’d say that you should wait until you’re married. Despite not having done it myself, I know that it’s wrong to be in any sexual situation with a man you’re not married to. If you won’t, then at least wait until you’re an adult and out of high school. I did.”
“Because there is a lot less drama when you’re an adult than when you’re a teenager. Now can you tell me what’s going on?”
I told her what happened with Zak, and that he didn’t want us to have sex.
“I don’t blame him,” Mom said when I finished.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because, Sarah, he knows what sex truly is, but you obviously don’t.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Sarah, were you thinking of having sex with Zak at all before you found out that Zack and Selena have been?”
“I . . . no.”
“Then there you go. Zak can tell that you just want to do it because Zack and Selena did, not because you love him, and I can tell that too.”
“But I do love Zak.”
“I know you do, but what you’re doing now doesn’t prove it. There are two things: sex and making love. They’re the same thing, but have two completely different meanings. Sex is about lust: two people who barely know each other at all and just wanna have fun. Making love is the exact opposite: it’s passion and it’s between two people who truly know and love each other. It makes their love even stronger than it was before. That’s what Zack and Selena have, and damn anyone who thinks otherwise just because of their age. Age doesn’t describe love at all. It’s not like you can control it. But, unfortunately for me, not every time that I’ve been intimate with someone was it making love. The first few times with Nick, it wasn’t exactly, nor was it with your dad’s asshole boss, Doyle, or your uncle Rick. But every single time with your dad it was. I’m sure it would be for you and Zak if you put your mind to it right.”
I took everything she said to heart, and it hurt. Hard.
I started crying. “I’m a terrible girlfriend.”
“No, you’re not,” Mom assured me. “You’ve just gotta learn these things and how to handle them the right way.”
“You’re right. I need to go see Zak now.”
“Hold on, Sarah. If Zak wants to wait until you’re married to be intimate with you, he has a right to that, and you don’t have a right to challenge it, or force him to by saying you’ll break up with him if he won’t, otherwise it’ll prove that you don’t really love him and you shouldn’t be in a relationship with him if you can’t respect that. When I was a little older than you, I was in a similar situation like that. I made it very clear with him before the moments leading up to that that I didn’t want that to happen. He didn’t respect me in regards to that, and he violated me. I’ve been in worse situations than that before—well, actually after that—but that was my first experience in that kind of situation, and I felt a lot of shame because of it.” Mom started to cry, and her voice became a whisper. “And I didn’t want to ever feel that way again. I mean, the first time I slept with Nick, it was really hard for me. It took me, like, an hour or so to get myself to finally commit to him because of that one experience. I was especially reminded of it after I had committed myself to Nick the first time because of . . . something after with Nick that had happened during that first experience. Anyway, if Zak wants that, you should give it to him if you truly love him.”
“Was it hard for you after you were raped?” I asked.
“Kind of,” Mom replied. “I’m not sure if I actually let that be a factor in it. I mean, I’ve always been self-conscious of that my whole life leading up to that. But I wasn’t going to let it ruin any relationship I had, even if it took some effort. You shouldn’t either, and you should go now.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I said.
I wiped my tears away and headed back to the Saturday’s home.
I found Zak and we went to talk privately in his room.
“Zak, I’m so sorry for what I did—or tried to get you to do,” I said. “It was wrong, and I realize that now. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, it’s alright,” he said, caressing my cheek with his hand.
“No, it’s not.”
“Well, it is now.”
I sighed. “I don’t deserve someone like you.”
“Neither do I. That’s what makes us perfect for each other.”
I smiled. “I love you.”
“I love you, and I always will. But do you still want to do that?”
“Make love? Yes, but not for the reason I wanted to before.”
“I just told you. It’s because I love you, and I want to show it to you. Do you?”
“Yes. But only on one condition.”
My eyes narrowed. “Ok. What?”
“That we’ll only make love this once, and not again until we’re married.”
“I promise,” I said, holding up my promise ring on my finger.
Zak smiled, then he kissed me. I kissed him back.
He gently laid me on his bed. After a moment, he started to lift my shirt and, well . . . you know.
Well, we sure learned some things in this chapter that may be a little surprising. This chapter's original title was: I Get Jealous of My Twin Brother and My Best Friend.
The answer to my last quiz was: Never Been Hurt, by Demi Lovato.
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